Dog Haiku I lie belly-up In the sunshine, happier than You will ever be. Today I sniffed Many dog behinds-I celebrate By kissing your face. I sound the alarm! Paper boy-come to kill us all Look! Look! Look! Look! Look! I sound the alarm! Garbage man-come to kill us all Look! Look! Look! Look! Look! How do I love thee? The ways are as numberless as My hairs on the rug. My human is home! I am so ecstatic I have Made a puddle. I Hate my choke chain Look, world, they strangle me Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Sleeping here, my chin On your foot-no greater bliss-well, Maybe catching rats. Look in my eyes and Deny it. No human could Love you like I do. The cat is not all Bad-she fills the litter box With tootsie rolls. Dig under the fence- You ask why? Because it is there. Because it's THERE. I am your best friend, Now, always, and especially When you are eating.

Enter the Photo Gallery! How to Wrap Presents with a Puppy 1. Gather presents, boxes, paper, etc. in middle of living room. 2. Get tape back from puppy. 3. Remove scissors from older dog's mouth. 4. Open box. 5. Take puppy out of box. 6. Remove tape from older dog's mouth. 7. Take scissors away from puppy. 8. Put present in box. 9. Remove present from puppy's mouth. 10. Put present back in box after removing puppy from box. 11. Take scissors from older dog and sit on them. 12. Remove puppy from box again and put lid on box. 13. Take tape away from older dog. 14. Unroll paper. 15. Take puppy OFF box. 16. Cut paper, being careful not to cut puppy's foot or nose that is getting in the way as s/he "helps." 17. Let puppy tear paper remaining to be cut. 18. Take puppy off box. 19. Wrap paper around box. 20. Remove puppy from box and take wrapping paper from puppy's mouth. 21. Tell older dog to hold tape so s/he will stop stealing it. 22. Take scissors away from puppy. 23. Take tape older dog is holding. 24. Quickly tape one spot before taking scissors from older dog and sitting on them again. 25. Fend off puppy trying to steal tape, and tape another spot. 26. Take bow from older dog. 27. Go get roll of wrapping paper puppy ran off with. 28. Take scissors from older dog who took them when you got up. 29. Give pen to older dog to hold so s/he stops licking your face. 30. Remove puppy from present and hurriedly slap tape on box to hold the paper on. 31. Take now soggy bow from puppy and tape on, since the sticky stuff no longer sticks. 32. Take pen from older dog, address tag, and affix while puppy tries to eat pen. 33. Grab present before puppy opens it and put it away. 34. Clean up mess puppy and older dog made playing tug-of-war with roll of wrapping paper. 35. Put away rest of wrapping supplies and tell dogs what good helpers they are!